Funny Pick Up Lines

Barack Obama Funny Pick Up Lines

2008-03-21T15:24:00.004-04:00

Here are some funny pick up lines to use if you happen to be Barack Obama:

Do you have a crush on Obama?

It's true I'm half white, but I'm all black where it counts baby.

Is your dad a terrorist? Cause you're da bomb! ....and no I'm not Muslim for crying out loud!

Can I borrow a quarter? Cause my insane pastor told me to call him when I met the girl of my dreams.

If you were a delegate, you'd be a Super Delegate in my book.

Hey Dick Cheney, is that Halliburton in your pocket or are ya just glad to see me?

Obama is a long legged Mac Daddy!!!

Don't worry honey, the only other woman in my life is Hillary. Not too much to worry about there.

Are you from Tennessee? Cause on Super Tuesday you're the only Ten-I-See. Seriously though are you from Tennessee? I could use the votes...

**Check back for more funny pick up lines**

Goth Funny Pick Up Lines

2008-02-21T20:03:00.002-05:00

Ever try to pick up a chick at a Rocky Horror picture show but you didn't have any funny pick up lines? I mean, who hasn't had that problem before. Now you have no excuse:

You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.

Do you think I could borrow that dress/bustier sometime?

I found this [lace glove, rosary, etc.] on the floor at the club last night, is it yours? Well, if it's not, I'd like to give it to you anyway.

Is that your boyfriend? I think you can do better than that!

How do you get your hair to do that? / Can you cut my hair like that?

Oh, yeah, [band name] is really great. . . I have all their rare stuff. You can come over to my place and tape it all if you want.

You look a lot like. . .[choose one: Winona Ryder, Siouxsie Sioux, Morticia, Elvira, Robert Smith, Edward Scissorhands] (To which they'll probably answer: No, actually, he/she/it looks a lot like me.)

I keep all of my most important poems and drawings in this little book. And I'd like you to have it because they're mostly about you.

Greetings... [bows deeply, tips hat]. I'm Bob.

**check back for more funny pick up lines**

Lindsay Lohan Funny Pick Up Lines

2008-02-18T23:30:00.003-05:00

Lindsay Lohan is not what we would call a sexually moral girl. You can pretty much get right to the point with any of these funny pick up lines:

Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?

Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.

Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"

Take off that dress and fuck my brains out, you cave newt.

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Wanna fuck like bunnies?

We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.

What can I do to make you sleep with me?

What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

Your face or MINE!?

Your place or mine?

**check back for more funny pick up lines**

Valentine's Day Funny Pick Up Lines

2008-02-13T13:06:00.003-05:00

For the romantic in you, here are some funny pick up lines for Valentine's Day:

Do you have a band-aid? Because I scraped my knee falling for you.

You've got to be tired, because you've been running through my mind all day.

Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breathe away.

Can I take your picture, because I want to show Santa Claus what I want for Christmas.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

I seem to have lost my telephone number, may I borrow yours?

I'm here. What are your other two wishes?

Be unique and different, just say yes.

**As always, stop back for more funny pick up lines**

Wow Tauren Funny Pick Up Lines

2008-01-26T21:15:00.000-05:00

World of Warcraft themed funny pick up lines for the Taurens:

Want to see where I'm branded?

Your barn or mine?

Are you always this tender?

I'm all beef and that's no bull...

Me. I'm what's for dessert.

I like a woman who wears leather.

You certainly weren't created by a primitive goddess.

Hey baby, I'm not castrated.

Got milk?

**check back for more funny pick up lines **

WoW Undead Funny Pick Up Lines

2008-01-23T10:25:00.000-05:00

Here's the first in a multi-part World of Warcraft funny pick up line series:

Hey, baby, what's your sign? Mine's R.I.P....

So my agent called and said CSI really wants me for their next episode but I'm holding out for a movie role.

I'm dead sexy.

I lost my lips, can i borrow yours?

How about you and me go back to my headstone and *ferment*...

Don't worry about it, my wife's still living.

Mmm baby! You're decomposing in ALL the right places!

I want my baby's back, baby's back, baby's back... ribs.
I...like...big...tailbones and I cannot lie, you other Undead can't deny...

You said you'd only date me over your cold, dead body. Pay up, honey.

Star Wars Fan Funny Pick Up Lines

2008-01-19T10:12:00.000-05:00

A couple funny pick up lines for the Star Wars fan boys. May the force be with you:

Honey, you've been looking for love in Alderaan places!

I may look like an Ewok, but I'm all Wookie where it counts, baby.

Date, or date not -- there is no 'let's just friends be'.

If you only knew the power of the Dork Side.

Hey, Beautiful. What's a nice girl like you doing waiting in line without bathing for 10 days?

How's about a long time of Joe, in a bedroom not far away?

Nice buns, Princess! On your head, that is.

If I said you had a mint first-edition, still-in-box action figure, would you hold it against me?
Your place or my Mom's?

I... uh... ummm... I... uh... (slaps own forehead)

Stupid! STOO-pid!

You're even prettier than my fantasy girlfriend.

**check back for more funny pick up lines **

Using Funny Pick Up Lines to Get Girls

2008-01-18T17:29:00.001-05:00

Oh no, who wants to use "funny pick up lines"? They're so cheesey, they'll never work.

Better guess again.

The internet is crawling with guys trying to find out how to pick up girls. Some men spend 10s of thousands of dollars in live boot camps, trying to find the "magic bullet" words that will get the girls streaming into their bedroom. Eventually they find out the hard way that there is no magic bullet, all they need are some funny pick up lines and good old fashion confidence.

Consider this funny pick up line:

Guy: *Ahem* Say, how much does a polar bear weigh?
Girl: Uh, I have no idea?
Guy: Enough to break the ice. Hi, my name's Steven.

Is that a stupid line? Definitely. But it demonstrates a key point in picking a girl up: Half the battle is breaking the ice between you and the person you want to talk to. Once the ice is melted, you're in! You've magically moved past stranger territory.

A main point to keep in mind here is that it matters very little what you say; it is infinitely more important how you say it. Do you think the best romancers in the world have some secret code they say that causes women to instantly swoon? No! They use the same funny pick up lines that anyone can use, but they say it with 100% confidence. How about this:

Guy: So this is where all the ugly girls hang out?

Most guys would be horrified to use a funny pick up line like that, but it's all in the way you present it. Think about how you used to treat one of your friend's kid sister. You want to act like that, in a teasing, funny, and maybe even flirty way. Every little girl had crushes on her older brother's friends, and by acting this way you can reignite those crush feelings. The key is to be teasing and fun, not creepy and overbearing like most guys in bars are.

Of course not every girl is going to warm up to you, but it's not because your line is bad. It's probably because she has a boyfriend, or is in a bad mood, or because you came across wrong. Picking up women is a numbers game; a certain number will accept and a certain number will deny. It all depends on how confident you are and how consistent you are. If you walk into a bar with the worst pick up line ever, but you use it on 100 different girls, chances are you'll get into some conversations and leave with a few phone numbers.

So play the numbers game, be confident, and don't stop using your funny pick up lines!

Christian Funny Pick Up Lines

2008-01-18T11:05:00.001-05:00

Ask an ye shall receive. It's time for some Christian Funny Pick Up Lines:

Excuse me, is this pew taken?

I didn't know angels flew this low.

I don't speak in tongues, but i kiss that way!

[check the person's shirt tag] "Just as i thought...made in heaven."

Honesty is like a kiss on the lips...and baby i never lie (Proverbs 24:26 "He who gives a right answer kisses the lips.")

Has anyone ever told you, your eyes are like doves and your neck like the tower of David.

Hey baby, you wanna take the church van for a spin?

How do you feel about the passage that says, "it is more blessed to give than to receive"?

Do you need help carrying your Bible? It looks heavy.

If Eve was tempted by an apple than you must be my fruit.

You put the "cute" back in persecution!

That halo matches perfectly with your eyes.

Do you think "ask, and it shall be given you" is to be taken literally?

God broke the mold when He made your sweet face.

Do you know the difference between making out and a sermon? ... No? Wanna go to church with me?

Hi, my name's Will...God's Will

Hey, need a ride to church?

I'd pick you over Satan any day.

God was just showing off when He made you.

No, i'm not coveting, I intend to make you mine.

How about a hug, sister?

Christians don't shake hands...Christians gotta hug!

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

What do you think Paul meant when he said, "Greet one another with a holy kiss."? (1 Cor 16:20b)

You have the body of Amy Grant and the soul of Mother Teresa. (Note: Do not confusedly switch names!)

Before tonight, I never believed in predestination.

I practice our mission to "love one another" to the fullest extent!

Excuse me, but can I drinkith from your cupith?

I think I feel the Holy Sprit, no, wait, I believe that may be you this time.

I truly believe men & women should celebrate their physical differences

**Check back for more funny pick up lines**

Geek Part 2 Funny Pick Up Lines

2008-01-17T14:57:00.001-05:00

Here is Part 2 of Geek themed funny pick up lines:

Resistance is futile.

I'm attracted to you so much that scientists will begin to doubt the Theory of Relativity.

What's a nice girl like you doing in a chatroom like this?

No matter how I sort things, you'll always be first.

No, that's not a Logitech MX-100 in my pants, but thanks for noticing.

I think you could be an integral part of my project life cycle.

I'd switch to emacs for you.

You put the SPARC in my workstation.

If you have an empty slot, I have the card to fill it.

We're like SLI. Were great alone, but we'd be so much better together.

You got me stuck on Caps Lock, if you know what I mean.

I have so much love to give you'll have to pipe it through more.

Did you make a Google Bomb? Whatever I search for, it's you I find.

Do you work for a TelCom? Because I bet you'd be good at pulling cable.

I was hoping you wouldn't block my pop-up.

Would you like to play Scrabble with me? I am tired of playing with myself.

You compute me.

Girl, I wish I was your differential, because then I'd be touching all your curves.

But enough about me, let's talk about mu.

Be my queen and mate me with your knight moves.

You've stolen the ASCII to my heart.

You must've been made by Intel to be that hot!

**Check back for more funny pick up lines**

Geek Part 1 Funny Pick Up Lines

2008-01-15T17:14:00.000-05:00

The best funny pick up lines for use by geeks:

Have you ever googled yourself?

You must be Windows 95 because you gots me so unstable.

Tell me of this thing you humans call *dramatic pause* love.

If you turn me down now, I will become more drunk than you can possibly imagine.

They don't call me Bones because I'm a doctor.

Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell your name on my calculator!

What's a nice girl like you doing in a wretched hive of scum and villany like this?

My 'up-time' is better than BSD.

I can tell by your emoticons that you're looking for some company.

Is that an iPod mini in your pocket or are you just happy to see me.

Want to see my Red Hat?

If you won't let me buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop.

You had me at "Hello World."

Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?

You make me want to upgrade my Tivo.

By looking at you I can tell you're 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.

Jedi Mind Trick: "This is the geek you're looking for." *waves hand*

You can put a Trojan on my Hard Drive anytime.

How about we do a little peer-to-peer saliva swapping?

With my IQ and your body we could begin a race of genetic superchildren to conquer the earth.

What's a girl like you doing in a place like this when there's a Farscape marathon on right now on the Sci Fi channel.

I'm attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.

**Check back for part 2 and more funny pick up lines**

Welcome to Funny Pick Up Lines

2008-01-12T10:36:00.001-05:00

Welcome to the brand new Funny Pick Up Lines! Here you will all the pick up lines you can handle, and probably more actually. We're not talking great pick up lines, or even good pick up lines. Just Funny Pick Up Lines. And I don't mean "Ha Ha" funny, I mean "get yourself slapped" funny. Try em out, enjoy!

You're so hot, you're making my beer warm.

If you were a pill I'd overdose.

I hope your day is as radiant as your smile.

If you go to a play, after it is over ask "Want to leave and see the second act?"

I think you got a little food on your lip.. here let me lick it off for you.

You look life my first wife! (how many have you had?) none.

Do you have the time..cause I’ve got the place!!

**Make sure to check back for more funny pick up lines.**